


This is Why I Love You

by pidgeon_holt (orphan_account)



Category: Homestuck
Genre: A Terrible Homestuck Fanfiction, Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - Human, F/F, F/M, Future Karkat 3 Hours From Now, Homestuck - Freeform, M/M, May take a while for updates since idk how to format pesterlogs, abuse m, swearing tw
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-07
Updated: 2015-10-31
Packaged: 2018-04-25 06:03:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 15,403
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4949494
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/pidgeon_holt
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Hey, uh, Rose?" John asked. Rose turned around.</p><p>"Yeah John?" She said. John took a deep breath.</p><p>"I have a something to tell you..."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. John Egbert

**Author's Note:**

  * For [xzael](https://archiveofourown.org/users/xzael/gifts), [Splashy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Splashy/gifts), [Shadow_Weaver](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shadow_Weaver/gifts).



> hahahaa im so sry percy
> 
> this is gonna take awhile to update bc im lazy. i also figured out how to format pesterlogs \\(^.^)/
> 
> also, theres a lot of OOC moments in this, im sorry. 
> 
> if you are triggered by abuse mentions, abuse descriptions (not too bad), and swearing, please dont read this!!!

John Egbert finished wiping the last table and went to the kitchen, tossing the rag into. The coffee shop was just about to open up. he threw on his white apron and switched the sign on the door to say 'open'. John headed back into the kitchen to converse with the waitresses and the cooks before any customers arriv-

'Ding-a-ling' chimed the door.

"Huh?" John said aloud. That was strange. No one ever came in this early. It was 8:02 A.M. No one usually came in until 8:30.

The customer, a boy with platinum blonde hair and pointed sunglasses, sat down at table 8, right by the window on the left side of the door. He wasn't at any of John's tables; he was at one of Rose's. John watched as Rose took his order and reported it to the cooks.

John was the only male employee at the coffee shop, so he usually heard a lot of gossip. And today was no different. But instead of hearing gossip about the waitresses' moms' love lives or their unfair teachers, he heard about the boy. Each waitress seemed to have a different story about him. Rose said he always came in on John's days off. Aradia said he always asked for John. Jade said he'd stabbed a bird with his katana when it flew into his room. Terezi said he could time travel. Kanaya didn't say anything about him, but John was sure she had some strange stories as well. John didn't know which of the stories he could believe. He sighed and waited for someone to sit at one of his tables. 

 

After waiting on a few tables, john noticed that an hour had passed and the mysterious boy hadn't left yet. he was sitting, staring at his phone, and tapping rapidly. His seat was facing the window, so John could have Rose peek at his phone when she went over there. John walked over to Rose.

"Hey, uh, Rose?" He asked. Rose turned around.

"Yeah, John?" She said. John took a deep breath.

"the next time you go to table eight, could you see what that boy is doing on his phone? Since he hasn't left yet..." John's voice trailed off. 

Rose tilted her head. "You mean Dave? He's probably on Pesterchum. He always is."

John thought about what she said. "Pesterchum? Do you know his chumhandle? could you give it to me?"

Rose laughed. "Does Johnny-Wonny have a crushy-wushy?" She laughed so hard she couldn't breathe. Once she caught her breath, she continued. "I can't remember it off the top of my head. I might ask him when I go over there again."

John blushed at what she first said. He nodded and then waited on his tables. He watched as rose went over to Dave and talked to him. She motioned subtly to John three times and Dave quickly glanced towards him twice that. Rose laughed and then went to the kitchen to get whatever Dave had ordered. John avoided looking at Dave. The thought of Dave for some reason made tingles go through John, making him crinkle his nose.

 

John noticed that Dave's plate was empty, so he grabbed the bust boy bin and headed over to table eight. He picked up Dave's plate and replaced it with a slip of paper. He quickly walked away as Dave picked up the paper and read it. John rushed to the kitchen, his heart racing.


	2. Dave Strider

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> dave and john talk, dave is too cool for anything, dave/nic cage, dave/bro's goulash, basically dave

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hahhaaa i might get in trouble for staying up later than my bedtime, but who cares. the first pesterlog is in this chapter, so pleeeaasse tell me if i mess up the typing quirks!
> 
> cursing trigger warning in this chapter!!! also there is food. 
> 
> I finally got this posted!!

Dave Strider watched as John, the boy with the wild black hair and rectangle glasses, walked away with the bust boy bin. Just before he turned, Dave saw his face was red. Either he had a bad fever or he was blushing. And since you aren't permitted to go to work when you're sick, Dave chose the latter. But why was he blushing? Dave was the one with the crush on him.

Dave picked up the piece of paper John had left behind. The only way Dave knew John's name was because of their mutual friend Rose. She had told Dave John's name. Dave unfolded the paper and saw 'ectoBiologist' written in blue ink. Dave was unsure what that meant, but he had an idea. He clicked the power button on his phone to unlock it and opened Pesterchum. He searched up ectoBiologist and a blue name came up. He clicked it and sent a chum request to the person who was hopefully John.

Dave knew that the employees were not allowed to have their phones on at work, so he'd have to wait until after 6:00 P.M., when the shop closed, to see if it was really John. Dave looked at the time on his phone. It displayed 9:45 A.M. Damn. He still had eight hours and fifteen minutes until the shop closed. Dave motioned for Rose to come over to his table, paid the bill, and then left. He browsed the surrounding stores, buying a new red hoodie, a few new pair of jeans, and a new Twenty One Pilots record since he rolled like that. By the time he had finished his purchases, it was one o' clock. He wanted to go to the coffee shop for lunch, but he decided against it. He was too cool to go there twice in one day. Dave ended up getting a burger from Bro's Diner, the diner his Bro ran. The burgers there were the fucking bomb.

After he'd finished eating, it was two o' clock and Dave was tired. He headed back to the apartment he shared with Bro and went into his room. Dave set his bags on the floor, flopped onto his bed, and fell asleep almost immediately.

 

Dave awoke from a nightmare with a jolt. His heart was racing and he was breathing heavily, but he couldn't remember what the nightmare was about. It was bad though, if it woke up Dave. He glanced at the clock. 6:30 P.M., the little red numbers read. John was off work now! Dave fumbled around for a bit searching for his phone before he found it. He clicked the power button and and 2 notifications from Pesterchum. One read 'ectoBiologist has accepted you chum request;' and the other said 'new message from ectoBiologist'. Dave clicked the second notification.

\-- ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering turntechGodhead[TG] at 18:24--

EB: um, hello?  
EB: who is this?  
TG: dave fucking strider  
TG: wait is this john  
EB: yeah. wait, dave from the coffee shop?  
TG: the one and fucking only  
TG: thanks for the chumhandle  
EB: um, yeah. no problem.  
EB: i heard somethings about you from rose, jade, aradia, and terezi.  
TG: oh yeah  
TG: like what   
EB: well rose said you always come in on my days off.  
EB: and aradia said you always ask for me.  
EB: but then jade said you stabbed a bird with a katana?  
EB: and terezi said you can time travel?  
TG: all of those are true  
TG: except for the time travel  
TG: but that would be the fucking bomb bro  
EB: heh, yeah. i guess it would.  
EB: but wait, why did you stab a bird?   
TG:long story short  
TG: he was stealing a game disc of mine  
TG: so i threw my sword at him  
TG:of course  
TG: i didnt mean to fucking stab him  
TG:it just happened  
EB: if you didnt mean to stab him, why did you throw a sword  
EB: of all things?  
TG: look bro  
TG: the sword was right there   
TG: and i was running out of time  
TG: i didnt have very many fucking options  
EB: right, anyway, i gotta go.  
EB: my dad has my birthday cake and he wants to light the candles now.  
TG: okay  
TG: how old you turning  
EB: sixteen.  
TG: well happy birthday dude  
EB: thanks. bye.  
TG: bye

\-- ectoBiologist [EB] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 18:51-- 

'That went well,' Dave thought. He went to his chums and clicked tentacleTherapist.

\-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering tentacleTherapist[TT] at 18:53--

TG: rose  
TG: why didnt you tell me it was johns birthday   
TT: You didn't ask.   
TG: who do you think i wouldve done  
TG: say "hey is it johns birthday"  
TG: no because no one asks things like that  
TT: Dave, calm down. I didn't think that it was relevant to what we were talking about, so I didn't bring it up.  
TG: you know i have a crush on him  
TG: didnt you think that i would like to know something like that  
TT: Dave calm down before I come over there and fill your mouth with Axe Body Wash.  
TG: fine mom  
TG: shall i fetch your slippers as well  
TT: Your sarcasm, while understood, is unappreciated, Dave.  
TG: whatever

\-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] at 19:18--

Dave scoffed. Why hadn't Rose told him it was John's birthday? He shook his head and silenced his phone before locking it and shoving it under his pillow. He went into the kitchen where Bro was cooking.

"Hey, Bro," Dave said, adjusting his pointed shades. Even though they were inside, he didn't take them off. They were a gift from Bro years ago and the only time he took them off was to shower or to sleep. Bro was wearing identical glasses. 

"Hey, Dave," Bro responded as he stirred the ingredients in the pot. 

"What's for dinner?" Dave asked as he breathed in deeply. Whatever it was, it smelled good. 

"Goulash. Figured I'd shake things up so we'd have something besides pizza or spaghetti."

"Cool. What movie should we watch tonight?" Dave and Bro watched a movie together every night.

"I rented one. It's called 'Con-Air'." Bro said, putting a lid on the pot. "It's from 1992, but they put it on Redbox. It was good and I wanted you to see it."

Bro turned off the stove and dipped them up. He handed Dave a plate and fork and then headed to the living room, Dave following right behind. Bro set his plate on the coffee table and put the movie in the DVD player. He pressed play and sat on the couch, grabbing his plate and beginning to eat. Dave did the same and stared at the TV.

"What's this about?" Dave asked.

Bro shrugged. "Can't remember. But it has Nic Cage in it."

Dave gave him a weird look. "Nic Cage? Really?"

Bro nodded. "Don't dis the Cage. He's a good actor."

Dave shrugged. "Whatever."

The movie began playing and Dave prepared himself.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

((SPOILER ALERT IF YOU PLAN ON WATCHING THE MOVIE ))  
In the movie, Nic Cage finally met his daughter and Cyrus escaped and then got killed.  
((SPOILER OVER)) Dave yawned.

"Dude, Bro, that was boring and terrible." he said. 

Bro gasped. "How dare you dis the Cage! i told you not to do that!" 

Dave smiled slightly. "Eh. I tend to not listen to people. "

Bro laughed. "Yeah, no kidding. "

Dave stood up and headed to the kitchen, rinsing his plate and putting it in the dishwasher. He glanced at the clock. 9:28. He should really get to bed and obtain a full night's rest... Not. He'd stay up really late and get 4-5 or less hours of sleep.

"Goodnight, Bro." He said at the arc of the hallway. 

Bro nodded. "Night Dave."

Dave walked to his room. He booted up his computer and saw the Pesterchum application blinking. He'd forgotten about his phone. He clicked the flashing square and Pesterchum popped up. He had 3 new notifications: ectoBiologist, tentacleTherapist, and carcinoGeneticist . Dave moused over carcinoGenetecist. That name looked familiar. Had he talked to them before? He clicked ectoBiologist and read what John had said.

\-- ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 20:15 --

EB: hey dave.  
EB: i'm here now.  
EB: sorry that took so long. my dad surprised me by taking me out to dinner.  
EB: thank the cage that didnt last long.  
EB: ...dave?  
EB: looks like you're not here then.  
EB: bye

\-- ectoBiologist [EB] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 20:30 --

Dave frowned and typed a reply rapidly.

\-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 21:31 --

TG: hey dude  
TG: i was watching a movie  
TG: and by 'cage'  
TG: did you mean nic cage  
EB: that's okay, dave!  
EB: and of course i did!  
EB: he's only the best actor of all time!  
TG: dude  
TG: he was in the movie i was watching  
EB: which one?  
TG: con air i think  
TG: it was weird and possibly the worst movie i have ever seen  
EB: weird???  
EB: dave that's my favorite movie!  
TG: how  
TG: i dont see whats so great about it  
TG: i could drop some shitty rhymes that would be better than that  
EB: oh really?  
EB: prove it.  
TG: you asked for it  
TG: i wish words could say how bad that movie was  
TG: well they probably could but id have to ask my cuz  
TG: hes really smart  
TG: these rhymes will tear your mind apart  
TG: my mind is bare  
TG: of any good opinions of con air  
TG: holla  
TG: you just got served  
EB: you're right. those are shitty.  
EB: but still not better than con air.  
TG: are you fucking kidding me  
TG: i spent a good 30 seconds on those  
TG: and they are way better than con air  
EB: no way  
TG: yes way  
EB: nope  
TG: yup  
EB: nuh uh  
TG: yeah huh  
EB: nope  
EB: and you can't convince me otherwise.  
EB: end of discussion  
TG: and the end of this pesterlog  
TG: i have some other conversations that are tugging at the back of my mind  
EB: i gtg too.  
EB: i'm gonna rewatch con air for the 50+ time.  
EB: bye dave :DD  
TG: bye john B|

\-- ectoBiologist [EB] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 21:52 --

Dave hated to leave John like that, but he had to answer Rose and Mystery Man. He chose to answer Rose first. He clicked tentacleTherapist and what she had previously sent popped up.

\-- tentacleTherapist [TT] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 20:00 --

TT: Dave, I would like to apologize about earlier. I was not acting rationally and that caused me to be rude. Please forgive me.  
TT: But you must see that it was not entirely my fault. During our talks, you did not ask when John's birthday was and the subject of birthdays did not come up. Walk a mile in my shoes.  
TT: Hello? Are you there?  
TT: Guess not.

\-- tentacleTherapist [TT] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 20:20 --

Dave sighed. He was overreacting earlier. He began typing.

\-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] at 21:55 --

TG: rose  
TG: i have walked the mile  
TG: and i understand your point  
TG: im sorry for overreacting  
TG: i shouldnt have yelled at you  
TT: Glad to see you've come to your senses. I forgive you.  
TG: cool  
TG: hey do you know who carcinoGenetecist is  
TG: i have a message from them  
TT: No, I can't say I do. Sorry.  
TG: thanks anyway  
TG: i gotta go see what the hell they want  
TG: bye  
TT: Goodbye.  
\-- turntechGodhead [TG]ceased pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] at 22:05 --

Dave drew a deep breath and moused over carcinoGeneticist. They were on his chum list. He clicked the name and read. 

\-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 19:20 --

CG: HEY FUCKASS

CG: ARE YOU THERE

CG: FUCK YOURE NOT

CG: MESSAGE ME BACK SOON INSUFFERABLE PRICK

\--carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 19:37 --

Shit.

Karkat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please comment with your opinions!! i know the karkat conversation is weirdly spaced, but its the best i could do. i was having technical difficulties


	3. John

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> its long. two new characters come in and have ooc chats with john.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> nnggghhh i just published the previous chapter a few hours ago, but screw it. heres the next one
> 
> THE WORDS BETTY CROCKER LOOK LIKE BILL CIPHER I ALMOST TYPED THAT 
> 
> ((im copying it onto ao3 from my notebook))
> 
> swearing trigger warning, abuse mention,

John sighed as he ended the conversation with Dave. He felt that went as well as their first conversation. As he was about to get up and rewatch Con Air, his computer chimed. He glanced at the screen to see the Pesterchum application flashing. He moved the cursor over to the bar and clicked it. Pesterchum replaced his Ghostbusters screensaver and he saw a new message from carcinoGeneticist. Karkat? Why would he be messaging John? John moused over carcinoGeneticist before clicking it. 

\-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 21:54 --

CG: HEY FUCKASS  
CG: DO YOU KNOW WHERE DAVE IS  
CG: SCRATCH THAT  
CG: DO YOU KNOW WHO DAVE IS  
EB: hey karkat.  
EB: yes i know who dave is.  
EB: just met him today actually  
CG: DID I ASK FOR YOUR FUCKING LIFE STORY  
CG: DO YOU KNOW WHERE HE IS  
EB: for the love of nic cage, calm the fuck down.  
EB: i just so happened to have talked to him not ever ten minutes ago.  
CG: WOULD YOU CUT TO THE CHASE ALREADY AND TELL ME WHERE THE FUCK STRIDER IS BEFORE I CUT OFF YOUR TESTICLES  
EB: that would hurt.  
EB: and actually, he is responding to the other messages he had recieved.  
EB: was one of them from you?  
CG: HOLY SHIT SHERLOCK. YOU JUST SOLVED THE BIGGEST AND ONLY CASE OF YOUR CAREER.  
EB: ouch dude, rude much?  
CG: NO I JUST HAPPEN TO HAVE A BRAIN AND I CREATIVELY USE IT TO CREATE INTELLIGENT RESPONSES TO EVERYTHING EVERYONE SAYS.  
EB: karkat, you're so

\-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 22:08 --

EB: abusive.  
EB: like to a lot of people, if not everyone.  
EB: and this conversation is very small on the drama scale compared to our others

John frowned and sighed. He knew quite a few of his friends were abused by Karkat. Some physically, some verbally, and some a mixture of the two. He knew for a fact that Kanaya was both verbally and physically abused by him. John wanted to block Karkat, but Terezi did that once and it didn't end well. John was protecting himself. And even if he did block Karkat, Karkat could use Sollux to bypass or remove the block.

Only Karkat could put John is such a bad mood that he wouldn't want to watch Con Air. John was just about to log out of Pesterchum when his computer chimed that familiar 'ding-ding-ding', alerting him that he had a message. John prayed that it wasn't K- Candy Red, as Terezi referred to him. Even thinking his name left a bad taste in John's mouth and an uneasy feeling in his stomach. John looked at his computer screen and saw the message was from Dave. Thank the Lord. John clicked turntechGodhead.

\-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 22:09 --

TG: hey john  
EB: yes dave?  
TG: do you know a certain douchebag   
TG: by the name of   
TG: candy red  
EB: you mean...  
EB: /gulp  
EB: car cat?  
TG: yes  
TG: i assume you didnt actually say his name  
TG: since you hate him too  
EB: uhm yes  
EB: he caused my anxiety  
EB: and hes  
TG: abusive  
EB: abusive.  
EB: whoa. we sent that at the same time.  
EB: creepy.  
TG: not the point john  
TG: what has he done to you  
EB: he hasn't physically hurt me, if that's what you're asking.  
TG: okay  
TG: but what about verbally  
EB: i'd rather bot talk about it dave, okay?  
EB: canwe jsut agree he's an asshole mcdouchebag with a dick of dick fries?  
TG: yes  
TG: gladly  
TG: do you know if hes hurt anyone else

John didn't want to answer that. 

 

EB: are you friends with all of rose's friends?  
TG: yes  
TG: just tell me john  
EB: /sigh  
EB: he has physically and verbally abused kanya, terezi, and sollux. and you know about me.  
TG: dammit  
TG: that douchepants  
TG: what are we gonna do  
EB: if we do anything, he'll find out and take it out on kanaya, terezi, sollux, and me.  
TG: i dont want anyone getting hurt  
TG: except him  
TG: he deserves it  
TG: ill sleep on it  
TG: goodnight john  
EB: goodnight dave

\-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering ectoBiologist at 22:34 --

John decided to go to bed. He didn't want to think about Asshole McDouchebag with a side of Dick Fries right now. Or ever again. He wished he lived in a KK free world.

John took off his clothes and got into his pajama pants before crawling into his bed and falling asleep almost immediately. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When John woke up, he glanced at the clock with sleepy eyes. 10:31 a.m. He'd slept for 12 hours. That was longer than usual. Luckily, it was Sunday, so he didn't have work or school today. He grabbed his Cosbytop (which was a laptop in the shape of Bill Cosby) and opened it. He booted it up and yawned. Once his laptop was loaded and on his screensaver (that same one as his desktop), he opened Pesterchum. He logged in and saw two new notifications. One was from tentaclTherapist and the other was from turntechGodhead. Rose and Dave. Dave was probably going to tlk about Candy Red. John chose to answer him second. He clicked tentacleTherpist and read what Rose had wrote.

\-- tentacleTherapist [TT] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 10:21 --

TT: John, happy belated birthday. I'm sorry I did not wish you a good one yesterday. I was busy.  
EB: that's alright, rose!  
EB: i understand. my dad made me go out to dinner with him, so i didn't have a lot of time to talk anyway.  
TT: Okay, thanks for understanding. Also, sorry for teasing you about Dave. That was very out of character.  
EB: it's okay, rose! i guess i kinda deserve it for teasing you about kanaya...  
TT: Heh. Now we're even.  
EB: yup!  
EB:hey, do you know what's up with dave?  
EB: he seems angry at karkat for some reason...  
TT: Karkat?  
EB: ...this guy who treats me badly.  
EB: shit what if he finds out i told you?  
TT: How? John, this is a private conversation, not a memo.  
EB: i know, but he has access to a computer hacker.  
EB: that's how.  
EB: but about the other thing.  
EB: has dave ever mentioned him?  
TT: No, not that I can recall  
EB: okay. thanks anyways rose.  
TT: Of course, John.  
EB: bye  
TT: Goodbye.  
\-- ectoBiologist [EB] ceased pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] at 10:48 --

John sighed. He really didn't want to talk to Dave about Karkat. That would put him in a sour mood for the rest of the day. But then again, what if Dave didn't want to talk about Karkat? There was only one way to find out. John clicked turntechGodhead and braced himself.

\-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 10:00 --

TG: john  
TG: what are we going to do about karkat  
TG: he needs to be stopped  
TG: this isnt right  
TG: hes hurt four too many people  
EB: he's only hurt four people.  
TG: exactly  
EB: and what can we do? if we call the police, we have no solid evidence to support our case.  
TG: kanayas, terezis, solluxs, and your conversation with him, plus the aforementioned threes bruises  
EB: the conversations they would find someway to dismiss them. and they can't trance bruises back to someone.   
TG: what do you mean theyd find a way to dismiss the conversations  
EB: don't you think i've tried calling the cops before? karkat is crafty. he convinced the cops that he's innocent and then he blamed it on equius because he's stronger and more likely. euius actually served jail time until nepeta broke him out.  
TG: okay  
TG: but what if we killed him  
EB: dave, if we got caught, we'd serve jail time for murder  
TG: we could make it look like an accident  
TG: or a suicide  
EB: dave, i don't think this is right.  
TG: with or without you i will get rid of karkat   
TG: one way or another  
EB: if it's murdering him, count me out.  
EB: actually  
EB: count me out period.  
EB: if you try to kill him and he survives, he'll blame the attempt on me, sollux, terezi, and kanaya and he might start physically hurting me. so, count me out.  
TG: ill do whatever i can do to protect my friends  
TG: especially you john  
TG: im trying to protect you

\- ectoBioloist [EB] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 10:55 --

John frowned and closed his Cosbytop without logging out or shutting it down. He placed it on the floor next to his bed and the laid on his side, staring at the off-white walls of his house. He stared for so long that his vision went blurry around the edges. He was right. Talking about Karkat was going to leave him in a bad mood all day. Again. If he went out, he'd be a dick to total strangers. He decided to stay home, in his bedroom, alo-

Three knocks rang out in his room.

"John?" Dad Egbert said through the wood.

John only groaned in response. 

Dad Egbert's tone grew slightly worried. "John, are you sick? I just wanted to check on you before I leave for work in fifteen minutes, but I can stay home if you want." 

John shook his head even though his dad couldn't see. "Yeah, I am feeling a bit under the weather." A half-lie wouldn't hurt, right? "But, Dad, I'm seventeen now. I don't need someone waiting on me hand and foot when I'm sick. Don't stay home. But if you would, could you restock my mini fridge and bring me Con Air?" John coughed hard for a little bit just to add onto his stage act. 

"Sure thing." Dad Egbert walked down the hall and came back a few minutes later. he used his elbow to knock and John slowly made his way over to the door to open it for him. Dad Egbert walked in holding a bunch of mostly junk food (such a good parent, giving your son junk food when he's sick) and a DVD case. He set the DVD on the bed and put the food in the fridge that doubled as a nightstand as John laid down on his bed.

"there ya go. Don't eat too much of this junk food, though. You'll get sick to your stomach. If you want something to do, you could always bake the cake mix I have sitting on the counter. I'm taking it to work tomorrow. In cake form, I mean." Dad Egbert chuckled to himself. "If you need to get ahold of me, my work number is on the fridge."

John nodded. "Okay. Bye, Dad," He said, rubbing his eyes.

"Bye, John," Dad Egbert said before leaving John's room and then the house.

After Dad Egbert left, John sat on his bed with his Cosbytop, staring at Pesterchum, and debating who to talk to. He was deciding between gallowsCalibrator and tentacleTherapist. He clicked gallowsCalibrator and began typing. 

\-- ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering gallowscalibrator [GC] at 11:03 --

EB: hey terezi  
EB: can i talk to you?  
GC: H3Y JOHN  
GC: OF COURS3 YOU C4N >:]  
GC: 4BOUT WH4T  
EB: candy red  
EB: and dave  
GC: BL333GGGHHH!!   
GC: >:[  
GC: YOU KNOW HOW MUCH 1 HATE C4NDY R3D  
GC: 4ND WH4T DO3S COOLK1D H4V3 TO DO W1TH H1M?  
EB: well, i met dave yesterday.   
EB: and we were talking and somehow we got to kk.  
EB: i slipped up and told him about what he does to us.  
EB: i'm terrfied, terezi.   
GC: JOHN  
GC: C4LM DOWN  
GC: 4S LONG 4S W3 DONT SL1P UP 4BOUT TH1S TO 4NYON3 3LS3  
GC: C4NDY R3D WONT F1ND OUT  
EB: yeah, you're right.  
EB: it's just i'm fraking out.  
EB: after my conversation with dave last night, i had an extreme anxiety attack.  
EB: the worst i've ever had  
GC: JOHN  
GC: 1V3 B33N TH3R3  
GC: R3M3MB3R WH3N 1 C4LL3D TH3 COPS  
EB: yeah.  
GC: 4FT3R 1 C4LL3D 1 H4D 4 M4JOR P4N1C 4TT4CK  
GC: 1T W4S TH3 WORST 1 3V3R H4D  
GC: W3 W1LL G3T THROUGH TH1S 4ND M4K3 SUR3 H3 DO3SNT F1D OUT  
GC: OK4Y  
EB: yeah, okay.  
EB: you're right.  
EB: i was being stupid.  
GC: JOHN  
GC: 4NX13TY 4TT4CKS 4R3 NOT STUP1D  
GC: 1T W4S NOT YOUR F4ULT  
EB: i just have an underlining feeling that it is.  
EB: and that k  
EB: candy red is going to find out.  
GC: JOHN OUR PL4N 1S FOOLPROOF  
GC: 4S LONG 4S W3 DONT S4Y 4NYTH1NG  
GC: H3 WONT F1ND  
GC: L3TS SW34R ON SOM3TH1NG TH4T W3 WONT T3LL  
EB: okay.  
EB: i swear on...  
EB: i swear on my life that i won't tell.  
GC: I SW34R ON MY L1F3 TH4T 1 WONT T3LL 4S W3LL  
EB: okay.  
EB: we all good now?   
GC: DUH  
GC: >:]  
EB: :DD  
EB: i'm gonna go do stuff  
GC: OK4Y  
GC: BY3 JOHN  
EB: bye terezi.

\-- ectoBiologist [EB] ceased pestering gallowsCalibrator [GC] at 11:25 --

John sighed as he ended the conversation. He felt a bad feeling in his chest because he felt Karkat would find out about his slip-up. He got up and changed out of his pajama pants into red basketball shorts and a black tank top. He decided to clear his mind by baking his dad's cake. He stood up and carried the Cosbytop with him to the kitchen. He set the laptop on the counter and searched for the box of cake mix. He found it, picked it up and then dropped it onto the ground n disgust.

"UCK!" John shouted. "It's Betty Crocker!" 

John picked it up, set it next to the Cosbytop, and sighed. 

"Jegus, Dad. It HAD to be Betty Crocker!" John yelled. He sighed. "Might as well make it since he does so much for me." 

Before beginning on the cake, John opened Pandora on his computer and 'Whoa Whoa Whoa' by Watsky came on. John bounced softly to the beat. He gathered the ingredients that the box instructed he use as his computer chimed. He opened Pesterchum and saw who was messaging him. The handle twinAremggedons was flashing. John moused over the name. He knew who it was: Sollux. But for some reason, Sollux wasn't on his chum list, John clicked the flashing handle.

\-- twinAremggedons [TA] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 11:32 --

TA: hey john  
EB: hey sol  
EB: what's wrong?  
TA: kk ha2 been makiing me track you on here  
TA: luckiily he wa2nt watchiing me  
TA: but ii know about your plan wiith TZ  
EB: you won't tell him, will you?  
TA: no of cour2e not  
TA: ii know what would happen  
TA: iim not going two let hiim hurt people anymore  
TA: ii ju2t dont know how two 2top hiim  
EB: ugh  
EB: dave is trying to stop him.  
EB: he might try murder.  
EB: i am kinda mad at him, i guess.  
TA: murder?  
TA: iif iit doe2nt work, doe2 dave know the con2equence2?  
EB: yeah, i told him.  
EB: he didn't seem to care.  
TA: he can bee 2o bliind 2ometiime2  
TA: not two make fun of TZ  
EB: i get what you mean.  
EB: but how do i convince him to not kill/attempt to kill karkat?  
TA: ii dunno  
TA: iill try talkiing two hiim  
TA: but he miight not lii2ten  
EB: okay thanks sol.  
TA: no problem john

\-- twinArmeggedons [TA] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 11:49 --

John sighed for the fiftieth time and looked at the ingredients on the counter. This cake wasn't going to bake itself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please comment with your opinions and any mistakes on my part! i didnt edit this oops there may be a lot of mistakes, but its kinda late here and im rly tired


	4. Dave

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> dave trying to be the hero. confusing memo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> guys, i am proud of myself. three chapters in two days!! you guys are lucky i love you. otherwise i wouldnt update as much (i have like three fans on this story, but whatever). special thanks to Shadow_Weaver for commenting! 
> 
> FUCK MEMOS 
> 
> enjoy this chapter!

Dave stared at his computer. Why had John been so against his idea to apprehend Karkat? Karkat would most likely get arrested if Dave reported him. 

Dave shook his head. He needed to confront Karkat and he needed to do it now. He went to his Chum list, clicked carcinoGeneticist and began typing. 

\-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] at 10:58 --

TG: hello karkat  
TG: a little birdie told me that youve been  
CG: BEEN WHAT FUCKASS  
TG: mean to them and a few of their friends  
CG: WHOS THIS BIRD  
CG: IS IT JOHN  
CG: I SWEAR FUCKTARD, IF ITS JOHN, HES DEAD  
TG: even if it is john  
TG: would you literally kill him  
CG: WHO FUCKING KNOWS  
CG: IF HE KEEPS PISSING ME OFF WITH HIS FUCK UPS, PROBABLY  
CG: SO IS IT JOHN  
TG: they requested i keep their identity secret  
CG: DONT LIE FUCKASS  
CG: ITS JOHN I KNOW IT  
CG: GOD IM PISSED  
TG: arent you always  
CG: DONT BE A SMARTASS OR ILL  
TG: youll what  
TG: abuse me too  
CG: WHO TOLD YOU I ABUSE PEOPLE  
CG: I SWEAR STRIDER  
CG: IF YOU DONT TELL ME, YOURE DEAD  
TG: im not telling   
CG: DAVE FUCKING STRIDER, IF YOU DONT TELL ME , I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN AND HURT YOU SO BAD YOUR ANCESTORS WILL FEEL IT  
TG: im not scared of you karkat  
CG: OH LOOK AT ME. IM DAVE STRIDER. IM TOO COOL TO ADMIT MY TRUE FEELINGS TO ANYONE. I JUST SIT ON MY COMPUTER LISTENING TO M&M AND PITBULL WITHOUT GIVING A SHIT ABOUT ANYONE  
TG: ill have you know  
TG: i care about a lot of people  
TG: im actually helping four people  
TG: the four people youve abused  
CG: WHAT CAN YOU DO. I LIVE ALONE SO THERES NO WITNESSES HERE. I HAVE CONNECTIONS. THE POLICE WILL SIDE BY ME. I HAVE SECURITY CAMERAS THAT I CHECK CONSTANTLY. NO MATTER WHAT YOU TRY, I HAVE A BACKUP PLAN.  
TG: well karkat youve stumped  
TG: i have no way of outwiting you  
CG: ARE YOU EBING SARCASTIC, YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE.   
CG: WAS THAT SARCASM, STRIDER.

\-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] at 11:19 --

Dave snmirked. He was forming a plan. He was going to outwit Karkat with no evidence leading back to him. 

Dave was just about to get ready to go into town when he heard the 'Oh yeaaah' that he set for notifications on his computer. He turned back to the computer and looked at the new message. Dave clicked the flashing twinArmeggedons.

\-- twinArmeggedons [TA] began pestering turntchGodhead [TG] at 11:21 --

TA: hey dave  
TA: can ii talk two you  
TG: sure sollux  
TG: whats up  
TA: iive been talkiing two john  
TA: and he2 been telliing me about your pln for kk  
TG: and  
TA: and ii dont thiink iit2 a good iidea  
TA: you have two admiit  
TA: john2 got a poiint  
TG: i cant believe youre siding with him  
TG: i will do what it takes to protect you guys  
TA: ii never 2aiid ii wa2 2iidiing wiith hiim  
TA: ii ju2t 2aiid he had a poiint  
TG: and whats your point  
TA: my poiint ii2 iit2 not a good iidea to kiill kk  
TG: well what am i supposed to do   
TG: i was just talking to him  
TG: and he said he can manipulate the playing field so the odds are in his favor  
TG: how am i supposed to get to him  
TG: and if i manage that  
TG: what do i do then  
TA: ii could get you iintwo hii2 hou2e wiithout hiim knowiing   
TG: how  
TA: ii go over there iin two week2  
TA: you could 2neak wiith me and then 2neak iin  
TA: ii could era2e or change the viideo2 2o he doe2nt know you were there  
TA: but after that ii cant help you  
TG: youd realy do that  
TA: anythiing two 2top that  
TA: what word de2criibe2 hiim  
TG: asshole mcdouchebag with a side of dick fries  
TA: heh  
TA: that2 perfect  
TA: whered you get that  
TG: john came up wit hit a few conversations ago  
TG: i should go plan my plan  
TG: that sounded more grammatically correct in my head  
TA: yeah  
TA: okay  
TA: bye dave  
TG: bye sollux  
TA: good luck catchiing kk  
TG: thanks  
TA: no problem

\-- twinArmeggedons [TA] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 11:36 --

Dave closed his eyes and day dreamed himself catching Karkat with photographic evidence to prove him guilty. Of course, that would involve letting him abuse Sollux for a bit in order for Dave to take pictures. But what if Karkat gets charged for only abusing one person instead of three like he should? Wait! The video cameras! Dave could find out the dates of the last time Kanaya, Terezi, and Sollux visited Karkat, steal those tapes wehn he sneaks in, and then report Karkat to the police with the evidence. Dave immediately got to work on asking them. He didn't want to ask them individually; that would take to long. He decided to create a memo.

turntechGodhead [TG] opened memo on board CANDY RED APPREHENSION

TG: kanaya sollux and terezi  
TG: i need to ask you something  
twinArmageddons [TA] responded to memo.  
TA: what ii2 iit dave  
grimAuxiliatrix [GA] responded to memo.  
GA: Yes Dave  
gallowsCalibrator [GC] responded to memo.  
GC: WH4T 1S 1T COOLK1D?  
GC: >:]  
TG: i need the exact date of the last time each of you visited candy reds house  
GA: If You Dont Mind My Asking  
GA: Why  
TG: i have a plan  
TG: but you need to trust me   
TG banned carcinoGeneticist [CG] from responding to the memo.  
TG: he cant see this now  
TG: youre safe to talk  
TA: dave what ii2 your plan  
TG: you know how youre going to his house in two weeks sollux  
TA: ye2  
GA: We Are All Going There In Two Weeks  
TG: oh okay  
TG: i still need the dates  
TG: im going to sneak into his house and steal the footage from those dates  
TG: but when i present the footage to the cops  
TG: im going to need more evidence  
TG: which requires the footage two weeks from now   
TG: would you all mind letting him do it one last time  
TG: it will be the last  
TG: ill make sure of it  
TA: ii dont know dave  
TA: ii dont thiink ii can take one more tiime even iif ii know iit2 the la2t  
GA: I Agree With Sollux. I couldnt Take Once More  
GC: SORRY COOLK1D BUT 1 GOTT4 S1D3 W1TH TH3M  
TG: i thought you might say that  
TG: okay  
TG: on top of the other dates  
TG: ill need the last time you were all there together  
GA: The Last Time I Was There Alone Was June 2, 2015  
GC: L4ST T1M3 FOR M3 W4S JULY 21, S4M3 Y34R  
TA: and the la2t tiime ii wa2 there alone wa2 june 16, 2ame year  
TG: okay, so today is july 30 2015  
TG: the most recent visit was from terezi  
TG: when was the last time you were all there  
GA: It Was When Karkat Found Out That Terezi Had Tried To Report Him To The Police  
GA: He wanted Us To See What Would Happen If We Ever Tried That  
GC: OK4Y F1RST OFF   
GC: C4N W3 NOT S4Y H1S N4M3 D1R3CTLY  
GC: 1T L34VB3S 4 B4D T4ST3 1N MY MOUTH  
GC: S3CONDLY 1 G3T 1T  
GC: 1 SHOULDNT H43 R3PORT3D H1M W1THOUT PROP3R 3VID3NC3  
GC: TH3 BL1ND G1RL 4LW4YS FUCKS UP  
GC: W3 DONT N33D TO HOLD 1T 4G41NST H3R FOR3V3R  
GA: Terezi I Apologize. I Did Not Mean It Like That.  
GC: >:[  
GC: 1TS 4LR1GHT K4N4Y4  
GC: 1 JUST DONT L1K3 TH1NK1NG 4BOUT TH4T T1M3  
TG: apology party aside  
TG: what was the date   
TA: ii cant remember  
TA: do you guy2  
GA: I Cant Seem To Remember Anything Except That It Was In January  
GC: 1 H4V3 1T M4RK3D 1N MY C4L3ND3R 4S TH3 D4Y 1 M3SS3D UP TH3 MOST  
GC: L3MM3 GO CH3CK  
GC: J4NU4RY 6, 2015  
TG: thanks  
TG: that really helps guys  
TG: i will get you out of this mess  
TG: i just need a way get to his house  
TA: you can come wiith u2  
TA: riight guy2  
GA: Right Just Do It Quick  
GC: Y34H WH4T TH3Y S41D  
TG: i just think we should do it before then that way he cant hurt you again  
ectoBiologist [EB] responded to memo.  
EB: dave what's going on?  
TG: i have a plan to apprehend kk that doesnt involve killing him  
adioesToreador [AT] responded to memo.  
AT: wOAH  
AT: yOU WERE GOING TO KILL kARKAT  
GC: PL34S3 DONT S4Y H1S N4M3  
AT: oH, uHH, sORRY tEREZI  
TG: that was a rough graft  
TG: and who are you  
AT: oH, i AM tAVRO  
AT: uHM, i AM A FRIEND OF tEREZI'S  
TG: how long have you been here  
AT: nOT LONG  
AT: jUST SINCE YOU SAID YOU, uHH, NEEDED A WAY TO GET TO HIS PLACE  
TG: okay  
TG: tell no one of this conversation alright  
AT: yEAH  
AT: bUT THERE MIGHT, uHH, BE OTHER PEOPLE READING THIS  
TG: to anyone reading this and not responding  
TG: tell no one of this conversation  
TG: especially kk  
TG: innocent people are getting  
TG: hurt   
TG: and this is a plan to stop it  
TG: if kk finds out  
TG: i will hunt you down and you will be punished  
TG: if he finds out  
TG: the innocent people hes hurt will get hurt more and i know none of us want that  
gardenGnostic [GG] responded to memo.  
GG: oh my!  
GG: i wont tell anyone!  
GG: i dont want anyone getting hurt!  
arsenicCatnip [AC] responded to memo.  
AC: :33 ac agr33s as ashe licks her paws to make them look purrfect  
centaursTesticle [CT] responded to memo.  
CT: D --> I swear on my e%quisite b100d that I will not tell  
TG: wow i didnt realize so many people read this  
cuttelfishCuller [CC] responded to memo.  
CC: Glub glub! T)(at is rig)(t! T)(is is a memo so -EV-ERYON-E can read it!  
caligulasAquarium [CA] responded to memo.  
CA: wwhat fef says is true. ill cut my fins up if shes lyin  
terminallyCapricious [TC] responded to memo.  
TC: HoNk :0)  
TC: ItS tRuE mOtHeRfUcKeRs  
TG: is that everyone whos read it  
apocalypseArisen [AA] responded to memo.  
AA: im here as well o.0  
arachnidsGrip [AG] responded to memo.  
AG: I am too. But I don't know if I'll cooper8 with you guys.   
AG: Eh, I guess I could. No harm, no foul, right?  
TG: yes  
TG: now is that everyone  
TG: no one else is responding so im guessing thats it  
TG: now  
TG: before i ban you all or close the memo  
TG: whichever comes first  
TG: everyone understands that whatever you read here stays here right  
AT: yES  
GG: yes!  
CT: D --> STRONG yes.   
AC: :33 ac says yes  
CC: Glub glub! Y-ES I do!  
CA: i do as wwell  
TC: CoUnT mE iN oN tHaT  
TC: HoNk :0)  
EB: yes  
TG: okay  
TG: im going to ban all of you so we can go over the plan just the four of us  
GA: Wouldnt It Be More Logical To Just Close The Memo  
TG: oh  
TG: yeah i guess it would be  
TG: good thinking

turntechGodhead [TG] closed memo on board CANDY RED APPREHENSION.

Dave smiled as he logged out of Pestershum and shut down his computer. He clicked his phone and looked at the time. 12:20 p.m. He decided to go into the kitchen to get something to snack on. He yawned; he didn't get much sleep last night. He went to bed around 3 a.m. and woke up at 7 a.m. 4 hours. Dave opened his fridge and looked around before grabbing a bottle of apple juice and a few cheese sticks. He went back to his room, loaded up the Nightmare Before Christmas on his DVD player, sat on his bed, and ate his snacks while the movie played. He fell into a dreamless sleep halfway through the movie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> remember: comment any of your opinions and any mistakes on my part!


	5. Karkat Vantas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> uhm there are no words for this. good luck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heh this is where my prewriting stops. if the storyline goes to shit, m sorry. i havent written anything new in over a month. im sorry guys.
> 
> swearing trigger warning, abuse mentions, karkat three hours from now.
> 
> thank you to magnetowasright for writing the lines before the memo and the first few lines of the memo! i never would have had that idea without you! and this fanfiction wouldve been stuck for months! so thanks again! (i had to reread your book to check the typing quirks and stuff. especially for kanaya)
> 
> also, on a random note, i got the stuff for my halloween costume! im going to be... *drumroll* jack skellington from the nightmare before christmas! the only thing i have left to do is make the little bat at the base of his neck in the front. woo!
> 
> this is a lot of backstory that i made up for karkat, though it doesnt really reveal why he is abusive. i havent write come up with that yet, but it might be revealed in the next chapter! now that fall break is almost over, i might not be updating as often, but i will try to update at least once a week.

~~ 3 hours later ~~

Karkat Vantas sat on his bed, mouth gaping open. He had been in this position since he ended his conversation with Dave four hours ago. 

"Oh my God," He whispered to himself. "I'm the shittiest person ever."

He got up from his bed and went to his desk. He turned on his laptop and opened Pesterchum. Karkat opened a memo. 

carcinoGeneticist [CG] opened a memo on board MY AUTOBIOGRAPHY

CG: KARKAT VANTAS, SIXTEEN YEARS OLD  
CG: I AM AN ASSHOLE CROSSED WITH A DOUCHEBAG  
CG: IT IS COMPLETELY OKAY IF YOU NEVER FORGIVE ME  
ectoBiologist [EB] responded to memo.  
EB: karkat  
EB: is this a con?  
CG: YES ABSOLUTELY. I, KARKATVANTAS, AM A TOTAL NOT ASSHOLE AND I WOULD NEVER ADMIT IT IF I WAS.  
EB: i can't tell if that's sarcasm or not.  
CG: WHAT DO YOU THINK, FUCKASS?  
EB: yes?  
CG: HOLY FUCKING SHIT. SHERLOCKS AT IT AGAIN.  
EB: wait.  
EB: why are you doing this? what made you suddenly realize your misdoings?  
CG: UHM, LETS SEE. MY CONVERSATION WITH DAVE PLUS THE FACT THAT I HAVE BEEN THINKING ABOUT IT FOR FOUR FUCKING HOURS.   
CG: I CAME TO MY SENSES. I CANT BELIEVE I DIDNT REALIZE WHAT A SHITTY PERSON I WAS BEING. I MEAN, SERIOUSLY? I WAS TAKING ALL MY ANGER AND HATRED FOR THE WORLD OUT ON INNOCENT PEOPLE IN THE FORM OF ABUSE. TALK ABOUT LOW AND SHALLOW.  
CG: TO ALL WHOM I ABUSED, BOTH PHYSICALLY AND VERBALLY  
CG: Im sorry.  
carcinoGeneticist [CG] banned himself from responding to memo.  
EB: karkat, i don't know what to say.  
grimAuxiliatrix [GA] responded to memo.  
GA: I Too Do Not Know What To Say  
GA: This Is All So Sudden  
twinArmegeddons [TA] responded to memo.  
TA: iim wiith them  
GA: Whats With The Sudden Change Of Heart  
CG unbanned himself from responding to memo.  
CG: DIDNT YOU READ WHAT I ALREADY SENT? I SPENT HOURS THINKING OVER WHAT DAVE TOLD ME AND I REALIZED WHAT HAPPENED TO PEOPLE WHO ABUSED OTHER PEOPLE. IM GOING TO GET IN SERIOUS TROUBLE, BUT I AM WILLING TO TAKE IT. I DESERVE IT.  
CG: CAN YOU FORGIVE ME.  
turntechGodhead [TG] responded to memo.  
TG: holy shit  
CG: WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT STRIDER.  
TG: nothing  
TG: im just here to watch this unfold  
CG: YOU HAVE NO PART IN THIS, DAVE.  
TG: yes i do  
TG: if i hadnt said something you either wouldnt have ever realized your mistakes or realized them too late   
CG: STRIDER PLEASE. IM TRYING TO HAVE A SENTIMENTAL AND FORGIVING MOMENT AND YOURE JUST RUINING IT.  
TG: fine  
TG ceased responding to memo.  
CG: HONESTLY, I STARTED THINKING AFTER DAVE BANNED ME FROM THAT MEMO EARLIER. THE NAME OF THIS BOARD IS SUSPICIOUS.  
CG: BACK TO THE TOPIC AT HAND. CAN YOU GUYS EVER FORGIVE ME.  
EB: well, i know you never physically hurt me, but i still consider myself in this ring. and i don't know if i can forgive you after you hurt three other people.  
CG: I UNDERSTAND. WHAT ABOUT YOU GUYS, KANAYA, TEREZI, AND SOLLUX.  
TA: ii have two agree wiith john. that wa2 a diick move, kk  
gallowsCalibrator [GC] responded to memo.  
GC: NNGGHH  
GC: >:[  
GC: 1 DONT KNOW...  
GC: 1 M1GHT H4V3 TO S1D3 W1TH SOLLUX 4ND JOHN H3R3  
GC: 1 M1GHT 4FT3R WHO KNOWS HOW LONG  
CG: UNDERSTOOD.   
CG: WHAT ABOUT YOU KANAYA.  
GA: ...  
CG: KANAYA, I UNDERSTAND IF YOU NEVER FORGIVE ME  
GA: Well Im Not Saying That  
CG: YOURE NOT SAYING ANYTHING AT ALL.  
GA: I Am Aware Of That Karkat  
GA: I Mean That I Kind Of Agree With Both Sides Of The Conversation Here  
GA: Can I Have My Own Personal Side  
CG: SURE. YOU CAN JOIN THE MAYBE SIDE WITH TEREZI  
GC: 1M NOT SO MUCH TH3 M4YB3 S1D3 4S 1 4M TH3 Y3S S1D3  
CG: GOT IT. SO TEREZI AND KANAYA ARE ON TheIR OWN SIDEs WHILE JOHN AND SOLLUX ARE ON A SIDE TOGETHER?  
GC: S33MS L1K3 1T TO M3  
GA: I Agree  
TA: you got that  
EB: seems like it.  
CG: NOW THAT WE GOT THAT CLEAR, IF YOU GUYS WANT TO TURN ME IN AND TAKE ME TO COURT TO GET PRISON SENTENCED, GO AHEAD. I DESERVE IT.   
GA: Actually We Had A Plan Like That  
CG: OH REALLY. WOULD YOU MIND TELLING ME.  
GA: I Think Dave Is The Most Qualified Person To Explain It  
CG: STRIDER? OH REALLY.  
GA: Yes  
CG: THEN COME BACK DAVE.   
CG: WAIT CAN HE SEE THIS.  
GA: I Dont Believe So  
CG: SHIT. COULD SOMEONE PESTER HIM AND TELL HIM TO COME BACK.  
EB: sure, i will.  
CG: GREAT.  
turntechGodhead [TG] responded to memo.  
TG: you called  
CG: YEAH KANAYA SAID YOU HAD A PLAN TO REPORT ME TO THE AUTHOIRTIES.  
TG: yeah  
CG: DO EXPLAIN, STRIDER.  
TG: well  
TG: in two weeks when kanaya terezi and sollux went over to your house  
TG: i was going to sneak with sollux go to where you keep the video tapes from your security cameras and steal the tapes from the last time each of them was there plus the last time they were there together  
TG: then i was going to take the tapes to the cops and turn you in  
CG: YOU KNOW WHAT. YOU DONT EVEN NEED TO STEAL THEM. ILL GIVE THEM TO YOU.  
TG: seriously  
CG: HAVE YOU NOT BEEN PAYING ATTENTION TO THIS CONVERSATION.  
TG: i couldnt see it karkat  
CG: OH RIGHT. ANYWAY, MEET ME AT THE SCHOOL TOMORROW AROUND THREE. ILL BRING THE TAPES. ILL HAVE TO DO SOME SEARCHING THOUGH.  
TG: no need  
TG: ill give you the dates right now.  
CG: REALLY.  
TG: yeah  
TG: let me just go get my notebook  
TG: i wrote the information down  
TG: okay  
TG: these are the dates  
TG: june 2  
TG: july 21  
TG: june 16  
TG: and january 6  
CG: THANKS STRIDER. YOURE NOT SO BAD AFTER ALL.  
TG: thanks i guess  
CG: NO PROBLEM. IM GOING TO GO GET THE TAPES READY. SEE YOU ALL IN COURT.  
GA: Until Then Karkat  
GC: S33 YOU TH3R3  
TA: bye  
EB: see you later, man.   
TG: what they said  
CG closed the memo.

Karkat sighed as he logged out of Pesterchum before shutting down his laptop. He laid back down on his bed.

"Now that that's done, I need to look for those tapes. Dave said June 2, July 21, June 16, and January 6." He said to himself. He forced himself to sit up with a grunt and then stood up. He was about to sneak out of the door but then remembered that he didn't live with his dad anymore so he didn't have to sneak. He opened the door and looked at the mostly bare white walls of his hallway. He only had five pictures hung up. 

One was of a selfie he took a little over a year ago, when Kanaya first visited his house. He was looking into the camera wit ha wide grin on his face while Kanaya was looking down with a slight frown on her face. Karkat had taken the picture without her knowledge and developed two copies the very next day. He snuck a copy into her suitcase the day she left so she would take it home. 

Another photo was of Karkat and Sollux. It was also the first time Sollux had visited, which was two years ago. He and Sollux were... aggressively playing a video game. Karkat had set the camera up with a timer so it would take the picture on its own. Karkat was slightly faced towards the camera wit ha small smile on his face. Meanwhile, Sollux was staring at the TV screen, mid-shout. Karkat couldn't remember what he was yelling, but he did know it was about the game. Karkat distinctly remembered they were playing the new Call of Duty game, thought which one it was, he couldn't remember. He had also developed two copies, and he somehow convinced Sollux to take home a copy. 

The next picture was a selfie from when he and Terezi had gone out to lunch for her birthday a year and a half ago. They were both smiling at the camera, the flash showing on the lenses of Terezi's red glasses. She didn't want people seeing the look that blind people tend to have in their eyes, so she wore the glasses. In the background, you could see the menu of the Culver's that they went to. The two of them took up most of the frame, but you could see someone in the background photobombing. They were flashing a peace sign while making a silly face. They were wearing glasses and had black hair. Karkat gasped. It was John! He remembered now! That was the day that he met John! Karkat was looking at the picture and saw the mysterious photobomber before confronting him. In the end, they exchanged chum handles and became friends, before things went to shit. Karkat got this picture developed the same day, except he got a special braille-print for Terezi. This meant that the picture was elevated and you could feel the features; it was like braille, but for photos. He gave this copy to Terezi and she took it home without argument. 

Each of those times was before he started physically abusing any of them. With Kanaya, Karkat realized, he was already verbally abusing and manipulating her. Karkat groaned. he didn't like the last picture, but he kept it for politeness.

The last picture was of him and his dad on Halloween eleven years ago, when Karkat was seven. Karkat was a little, adorable red crab and his dad was a big, somewhat-scary-looking white crab. Karkat was smiling in the picture, but present Karkat still hated that his dad made him dress up like that. Karkat only kept that picture in his house because he wanted to be polite to his dad. Mr. Vantas had died when Karkat was 16, leaving Karkat to move in with his older brother Kankri, who had moved out five years previously, when Karkat was 11. Kankri was kind enough to let Karkat live there until he was able to get a place of his own, but he didn't provide anything else for Karkat. Karkat was forced to get a job, buy his own food, blankets, clothes, stuff like that. They even had separate trash cans. The two Vantases hardly, if ever, talked. Karkat shook his head and walked past the photos to his security monitor room. 

Karkat opened the steel door after unlocking the seven locks. He looked around; everything was the same dull gray color. Karkat made his way over to the filing cabinet in the corner of the room. He opened it up and flipped through files until he got to the 'January' file. He pulled out the tape for January 16 before going to 'June', collecting June 2 and 16, and then heading to 'July' to get July 21. Once he had all the tapes, he put them in a bad and set it next to the front door for when he left the next morning.  
Once he got to the kitchen, Karkat glanced at the clock on the stove. 3:47. Less than 24 hours to go until he met up with Dave. Karkat knew it was late, but he had skipped lunch earlier and he was hungry. He pulled out a pack of ramen noodles from the pantry and a pot from the corresponding cupboard. He set the package of noodles on the counter and then filled the pot up with water. He put the pot on a burner and turned the burner to medium-high. While he waited for the water to boil, Karkat pulled his phone out of his back pocket. He clicekd the power button and saw no notifications at all. As per usual. No one really liked him. Karkat opened the Pictures app and scrolled through his pictures. First of and with Terezi, since she was at his house more recently. Then he got to pictures of and with Sollux, and then Kanaya. In all of the pictures, he noticed, they had a sad look in their eyes. Except for Terezi, but Karkat could tell that her smiled was somewhat forced. 

Karkat glanced over at the pot and saw that the water was boiling. He locked his phone, returned it to his pocket, opened the noodles, and then put them in the pot. he got a fork and a pot lid out. He covered the pot with thelid and let the noodles cook. After they were done, Karkat got out a bowl and then transferred the noodles to the bowl. He drained all the water out of the bowl and then got out the butter and the salt. Karkat added a spoonful of butter to the noodles, mixed it up and then added ten shakes of salt and mixed it. It was a creation he'd made when he had been staying with Kankri since he couldn't afford much other than ramen. Karkat took his bowl to the dining room that he never used and sat down at one end of a somewhat long table. He ate his ramen in a lonely way, which he didn't think was possible. 

After he was done eating, Karkat rinsed his bowl in the sink before putting both the bowl and the fork in the dishwasher. Then he headed to his room and laid down for bed even though it was only 4:13. He didn't have anything else to do, so he figured he might as well sleep. Karkat closed his eyes and fell into a sleep that was dreamless for halfthe night and then filled with nightmares that woke him up at 3 am. He couldn't go back to sleep after that, so he stayed up, hugging his knees and rocking back and forth while Twenty One Pilots played through his phone until 8.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you know the drill: comment opinions and any mistakes you find! :DD i didnt go back and edit this, so there may be a lot of mistakes. :/ sorry guys. 
> 
>  
> 
> did you know that halsey (a singer) is very calming for writing? especially if you hate karkat with a burning passion and you just happen to not only be writing about him but from his point of view? if you ever are writing about a character you dont like, i suggest halsey's 'hurricane' or 'gasoline'. very calming.
> 
> i hope you guys what i slaved through to write this chapter. i took at least two hours to write this and i have had to pee badly for most of that. i didnt want to get up until it was finished, so youre welcome.


	6. John

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> questioning motives, confusing conversations, karkat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> trigger warning for swearing and mentions of abuse! please do not read if you are triggered by either of those!
> 
> for the prntscr links, you will need to copy and paste them in order to see what they say since i do not know how to format it to where you can just click it.

John gulped as Karkat closed the memo. Was this really happening? Was Karkat actually helping in his apprehension? John sighed. This was all too much for his brain. He logged out of Pesterchum, shut down his computer, unplugged his phone from the charger, and headed downstairs. He heard his dad rumbling around in the kitchen. John went in there.

"Dad? Why are you home early?" John asked, making sure his voice sounded sick. Dad Egbert turned around.

"Hey, son! I was worried about you and couldn't focus at work, so I left work early. I have to go in early tomorrow, but it's fine. I just don't want you to be home alone when you're sick. And thanks for baking the cake for me," Dad Egbert said. John sighed, making sure he over-exaggerated it.

"Dad, I can take care of myself when I'm home alone. I'm not nine anymore. And you're welcome." John remarked. He opened the fridge and grabbed a water bottle. For some reason, there was a little paper hat on the cap.

"Dad, why are there little hats on the water bottles?" John inquired as he closed the fridge.

Dad Egbert smiled as he opened the fridge and grabbed a bottle for himself. "Publicity for my company, Hats 'R' Us. We're holding a fairnext weekend and when people buy a water bottle, they'll see the hat and remember that we make the best hats around."

John smiled and shook his head. "You're so silly, Dad. Anyway, see you later."

Dad Egbert smiled. "I know, son. So are you." As he saw his son leaving, Dad Egbert remembered what he'd been meaning to tell him. "Wait, John! If you're feeling well tonight, we'll be going to dinner with one of my friends and her daughter, who is around your age. If you're still not feeling well, I'll just go alone. Alright?"

John nodded. "Yup. I will most likely be going with you."

Dad Egbert smiled. "Great. Dress is semi-casual, so wear something nice but not too dressy. Got it?"

John nodded again. "Got it, Dad."

John headed back upstairs to plan his outfit for tonight and then talk to Dave. John set his water bottle down on his night stand and then ruffled through his closet until he found a blue long-sleeved button up shirt and a white undershirt. He set that on his bed and then went through his dresser to find his black skinny jeans. After that was said and done, John sat at his desk and booted up his computer. Whiel it was loading, John decide to play the 'how-far-can-you-reach-without-falling-out-of-your-chair' game to reach his water bottle. Luckily, he didn't fall out of his chair and successfully grabbed his water bottle. John opened it and took a drink, the fresh cold water cooling his previously hot throat. 

The computer finally loaded and John moved the cursor over to the Pesterchum application. He clicked it and once it loaded he logged in. He saw no new notifications, but he did want to talk to Dave. He clicked the button on the left side of his screen that said turntechGodhead. Luckily, the dot next to the handle was green, which meant that Dave was still online.

\-- ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering turntechGodhead at 15:53 --

EB: hey dave. i wanted to talk to you about tomorrow.

Dave didn't respond for a while. John sat, staring at his computer, waiting.

TG: what is it john  
EB: i just didnt want you going alone. i think it would be better if i came too.  
TG: why do you want to come  
TG: ill be fine on my own dad   
TG: its not like hes gonna kill me  
EB: i know. it's just that  
EB: i just want to come. is that too much to ask?  
TG: no  
TG: i just didnt think that youd want to see him until the court date  
EB: at first it was like that. but then i realized that i wanna help. i dont want to be that kid who sits in the corner while others help him out of his problems.  
TG: understood  
TG: wait  
TG: didnt you say that you wanted me to count you out?   
TG: http://prntscr.com/8stx0f  
TG: there  
TG: you specifically told me to count you out  
EB: i know just  
EB: can we forget about that? i want to come. i've changed my mind.  
TG: are you absolutely sure  
EB: ugh dave! why can't you just accept that i changed my mind?!  
EB: i can't believe this! you know what? forget i asked. i'm not going.

\-- ectoBiologist ceased pestering turntechGodhead at 16:25 --

TG: john calm down  
TG: thats fine  
TG: i wasnt trying to anger you  
TG: i just wanted to make sure you were completely sure about this  
TG: i didnt want you to regret it

John scoffed and shook his head. He needed to rant to someone. But who? He scrolled through his chum list, seeing all sorts of names like arachnidsGrip, carcinoGeneticist, gallowsCalibrator, and twinArmageddons. But he couldn't talk to any of those people. They wouldn't understand. John decided to click on tentacleTherapist and began typing.

\-- ectoBiologist began pestering tentacleTherapist at 16:26 --

EB: i can't believe him! asking if iwas sure about going? of course i was sure! why would i be asking him if i wasn't completely, 100% sure?! he just makes me so mad!   
TT: Pardon my confusion, John, but whom are you angry at? And why?   
EB: dave because he's so...   
EB: i don't even have a word to describehim!   
EB: wait...   
EB: insensitive!   
EB: is he always so insensitive?   
TT: I would answer if i knew the context of the situation. Would you mind filling me in?   
EB: not at all. just gimme a minute.   
TT: Alright.    
EB: http://prntscr.com/8su1m1   
EB: read that.    
TT: I see. You believe he was being insensitive because he was not respecting your wishes to accompany him to wherever tomorrow?   
EB: exactly! he is just so insensitive all the time! he didn't understand a while ago that i didn't want him to do something and yet he still went ahead and kept planning for it! talk about not caring! he said he was trying to help me, but if his plan backfired, it would do the exact opposite! i just...   
EB: EERRGGHH!!   
TT: If you don't mind my asking, what is this all about?   
EB: did you read the memo that karkat opened not too long ago on the board 'candy red apprehension'?   
TT: No. I was busy with my mom preparing for a dinner we are attending this evening.    
EB: oh. well i'll brief up all that's happened in the past few days.    
EB: as i am pretty sure you are aware of, your girlfriend, kanaya, is abused by karkat. along with sollux, terezi, and myself.   
TT: Actually, I was not aware of such things. Kanaya is being abused?   
EB: well she isnt anymore. we are going to turn in her abuser. and tomorrow dave is going to meet him to get the video tapes containing evidence pertaining to this.    
TT: So her abuser is going to be helping in his apprehension?   
EB: yes. he realized that what he was doing was wrong and decided to put an end to it. the thing is, i wanted to go with dave for reasons that i am unaware of myself, but, as you saw earlier, he was questioning my certainty.    
TT: I see. Well, to answer your previous inquiry, yes. Dave is frequently insensitive, but he does have his moments in which he is not.    
EB: i see. well, what should i do?   
TT: I do not know, John. But I do believe you should just calm down and not talk to him for a while. And about going to meet Karkat tomorrow, if you honestly really want to, go ahead. You don't need Dave's permission. He isn't your father.   
EB: thanks, rose. that really helped. and thank you for letting me rant to you. it helped me calm down.   
TT: You're welcome. I'm glad I could help.   
EB: alright. bye rose.   
TT: Goodbye John. Shall I see you in two weeks when school begins again, or do you want to meet up before then? Since we won't be working due to school preparations.   
EB: uhm, we should get together before then. it's pretty lonely at home, and we won't see each other at work.    
TT: Okay. We can plan for that at a later time. My mother is calling me. Goodbye, John.   
EB: bye rose.

\-- ectoBiologist [EB] ceased pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] at 16:53 --

John logged out of Pesterchum and then shut down his computer. He went downstairs, notified his father that he would be going to dinner tonight, and then went back upstairs to get dressed. They were leaving at 5, so John got dressed quickly, leaving his shirt unbutoned, brushed his hair since gelling it would not work, and then met his dad at the car. They headed downtown to a restaurant called Peaceful Dining. Once they got inside the restaurant, Dad Egbert led John over to a table that sat a woman in a plain white dress and a long purple scarf and a teenage girl in a purple dress. Hey, she looked familiar. As John got closer, he realized who the girl was. It was Rose! John smiled at her and she smiled back.

"John, this is Miss Lalonde and her daughter Rose. Miss Lalonde, Rose, this is my son, John." Dad Egbert said. Miss Lalonde stood up and shook John's hand.

"It's nice to finally meet you, John. Your father has told me so much about you." She sadi with a smile, her voice sounding elegant and professional. 

Rose stood up and hugged John. "Hello, John. It's nice to see you again."

John hugged back. "Hey Rose." Dad Egbert and Miss Lalonde stood confused.

"You two know each other?" They said at the same time. John and Rose broke from their hug and nodded.

"Yup," John said, "We work together."

After all the confusion, they sat down and ordered. Dad Egbert and Mom Lalonde talked their about own private things while John and Rose talked about who-knows-what. In the end, it was a pretty good night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you know the drill! :DD comment your opinions and any mistakes on my part! again, i didnt edit this (i hardly ever do) so there may be a lot of mistakes.


	7. Dave

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dave meets up with Karkat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im so sorry guys, i have been dealing with a lot rn and so this chapter might rly suck. it is pretty rushed bc over the past few days i have not thought at all abt what i was going to put in this chapter. i have been preoccupied over the week. im so sorry. i published this pretty late my time so i am pretty tired. 
> 
> trigger warning for swearing!!

~ timeskip to the next day brought to you by Rose and Kanaya ~

Dave threw on his coat and headed out of the door. As he passed the kitchen, Dave glanced at the clock. 2:45 p.m. He could definitely make it to the school in time to meet Karkat. He might even have a few minutes to spare. Dave headed out the door, not telling Bro where he went. Bro didn't really care where Dave went, as long as he didn't kill someone or get killed himself. And besides, Bro was at work anyway. Dave went to the driveway, where his car was. He unlocked the car, got in, and started it. Dave backed out of the driveway and then began to drive to Andrew Hussie High School, where he went to school.

As he reached the school at 2:54, Dave spotted Karkat standing under the big willow tree near the east entrance to the school.Next to him was a box and from what Dave could see, there were tapes inside. Those must be the ones. Dave parked his car in a spot as close as he could get to the willow tree. He turned off the car, got out, and locked the car behind him. Karkat looked up from his phone when he heard the door close. Dave walked over to Karkat as Karkat paused whatever he was listening to. 

Karkat nodded his head. "Hey Strider." He said, an aura off grief and regret surrounding him. 

Dave nodded back. "Hey there Vantas." Dave looked down at the box and readjusted his shades. "Those the tapes?" He wiped his brow with the back of his hand. It was a hot day in August in Texas. Karkat nodded.

"Yup. January 16, June 2 and 16, and July 21, all there and accounted for." Karkat said with a sigh. 

Dave tilted his head. "You okay man? What you're going through is three times the shit any other seventeen year old goes through." Karkat simply nodded.

"Yeah, I'm just regretting it. God, I'm fucking stupid." He said, leaning against the tree and sliding down it until he was sitting down. Karkat crossed his arms over his knees and buried his face in his arms. Dave sat down next to him.

"Dude, it's okay. After you go to jail or prison or whatever, you can come back and I'm sure they'll forgive you." Honestly, Dave wasn't sure about that. Maybe Karkat couldn't tell he was partially lying. 

Karkat shook his head and when he spoke, his voice was partially muffled. "Maybe they will, maybe they won't who fucking knows. God, I'm so fucking pissed with myself." Karkat looked up at the sky and Dave could see that there were tears on the brim of his eyes. "I'm so sorry, Dad. I knew you didn't want this to become of me. I'm so fucking sorry." Then, Karkat looked out at the parking lot, but Dave could tell he wasn't about to apologize to the car. "I'm sorry Kanaya and Sollux and Terezi and John. I'm sorry Gamzee. I shouldn't have treated any of you like that." Karkat went back to the position where his face was buried in his arms, and Dave could tell he was crying because not only was his back moving up and down quickly, but also because Dave could hear small sobs from Karkat's throat. Karkat looked up.

"If you tell anyone you saw me crying, I'll cut your dick off." He said roughly. But Dave didn't come back with a witty remark like he normally would. All he did was nod while looking at Karkat. Dave was feeling rather out of character today. Karkat wiped his eyes and pushed the box towards Dave. "Just take it before I end up telling you my life story. See you n court, Strider." And with that, Karkat stood up and walked away in the direction of Dave's car. He walked off the parking lot and disappeared behind a building. Dave grabbed the box, stood up, and walked over to his car. He reached into his coat pocket for his keys but came up with nothing. Glancing towards the tree, Dave saw a glint of silver from the grass.

"Shit!" He shouted. The keys must have fallen out of his pocket when he was sitting next to Karkat. Dave looked at the box, which was taking up most of his arms, and then back at the keys. Dave was about to put the box in his car when he remembered that he couldn't open his car. The box was heavy, and it took some work, but Dave set the box on the roof off his car and turned around to see Kanaya standing there with his car keys in hand. 

"Hello Dave." She said. He held out the keys for him. "I saw you dropped your keys and picked them up for you." Dave took the keys hesitantly and nodded.

"Thanks, Kanaya, but how did you see me drop them?" Dave asked. Kanaya's eyes widened.

"Uhm, you see... I was just walking..." Kanaya stuttered around for an excuse before sighing. "I came to witness the transfer of tapes. Is that wrong?"

Dave shook his head. "N-no. I just was surprised. Don't you hate Karkat?"

Kanaya nodded. "In a sense."

"Then why did you come?"

Kanaya shrugged. "Just an urge I felt. It pulled me here and I stayed to observe what happened." 

Dave had a sudden realization. That's why John wanted to come but didn't have an explanation as to why! "Thanks, Kanaya. Do you want a ride home?" 

Kanaya smiled slightly. "I wouldn't want to pass up the offer. So I will take you up on it. Thank you." She walked around to the passenger door, her long red skirt flowing around her legs. Dave unlocked the car, but the box in the back seat, and got into the driver's seat. Next to him, Kanaya was buckling herself up. Dave didn't want to seem reckless, so he put his on as well. It was a strange sensation as Dave did not wear his seatbelt very often. He found it to be rather uncomfortable. 

"What's your address, Kanaya?" Dave asked, starting the car. Kanaya looked out the window as she replied.

"413 East Midnight Crew Lane. " She said, glancing towards Dave. He nodded.

"Got it, Miss Maryam." Dave said before leaving the parking lot and driving to Kanaya's house. He stopped in front of her driveway.

"Your mom home?" he asked, motioning with his head to the lime green convertible parked in Kanaya's driveway. 

Kanaya shook her head. "No. She wouldn't be home at this hour. And God only knows whose car that is."

Dave shrugged. "Can I trust that you'll be able to handle yourself if I leave you here alone?" Kanaya stepped out of the car and pulled a tube of lipstick out of a hidden pocket in her skirt. She pressed a small button on it and it transformed into a chainsaw. Kanaya pressed the same button and the chainsaw went back to lipstick mode. "I think I'll be okay." She said with a smile before closing the door. Dave drove away, glancing towards Kanaya's porch. It was kinda far away, but Dave thought the girl looked like Jade. But that'd be impossible. Kanaya and Jade didn't know each other, did they?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you should know what to do, but ill still remind you: comment opinions and any mistakes you find! i accept *constructive* criticism.


	8. Kanaya Maryam

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kanaya and **** talk. Kanaya is amazing. **** is amazing.
> 
> my computer is being an ass so the part after the pesterlog thing is all fucked up. please ignore it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heheh hey guys. two chapters in twenty four hours to make up for falling behind! i really hope you like the ******** i put into this because i had very little idea how to write this (is that grammatically correct?) (it's censored because spoilers). dont judge how i portrayed ****'s voice. thats how i imagine it canonly is. 
> 
> no trigger warning off the top of my head. its kanaya, and from what i know she doesnt swear and its more of a filler chapter, so there wont be any mentions of abuse other than right here. this plot is going to be contiued in the story, except there will be john and dave pov's for this as well. i hope you guys like it!

Kanaya shut Dave's car door and headed towards her porch. Sitting in a cherry wood rocking chair was a girl about seventeen, the same age as Kanaya, with long black hair and round glasses. She was smiling as she looked at the plants on the porch. The girl saw Kanaya out of the corner of her eye and looked up. She stood up as Kanaya finished climbing the steps to the porch. The girl waved. 

"Hi Kanaya!" She exclaimed in a somewhat high voice. "I'm Jade! it's nice to see you again!" Jade stuck out her hand and Kanaya hesitantly took it. 

"Hello Jade. What do you mean, 'see you again'?" Kanaya said, ending the handshake. 

Jade looked confused as well before nodded in realization. "Ooooh. You see, we see each other at school every day! And, I was a part of the memo yesterday! The one that Dave posted." She pulled her phone out of nowhere and unlocked it before pulling up Pesterchum, and clicking on the memo Dave had opened. Jade scrolled through the memo until she found the part she wanted. She turned the phone for Kanaya to see. Kanaya looked at the phone.

gardenGnostic [GG] responded to memo. GG: oh my! GG: i wont tell anyone! GG: i dont want anyone getting hurt! GG ceased responding to memo. After Kanaya finished reading and looked up, Jade locked her phone and put it away. "That was you?" Kanaya asked. Jade nodded. "Yup! That was me!" Kanaya smiled slightly. "You are a very nice girl." Jade smiled back widely. "Thanks, Kanaya! You are too!" Kanaya used her hand to move a little piece of hair out of her face before going to unlock the door. "Would you like to come in for a cup of tea?" Jade nodded. "Only if it wouldn't be too much of a hassle for you." Kanaya shook her head as she opened the door. "No, it wouldn't be much of a hassle." Kanaya went inside and Jade followed. "You can sit on the couch in the living room. It's just through that doorway." Kanaya pointed to an archway to the left. Jade went through the arch as Kanaya went through a similar archway on the right which led to the kitchen. Kanaya opened the cupboard that held the tea. She looked through a window shaped area in the wall towards Jade, who was sitting on the couch, thumbing through some of Kanaya's fashion magazines. "Would you like white, black, green, or oolong tea?" Kanaya asked. Jade looked up from the magazine. "Hmm... Green, please." Jade said, smiling at Kanaya. Kanaya smiled back and went into the kitchen. She got two matching teacups out of the cupboard and got a kettle out of another cupboard. She filled the kettle with water and put it on the stove, turning on the stove and waiting for the water to heat up. Kanaya went to the living room and sat down next to Jade. Jade was on a page of a beautiful jade green ballgown. "That's a pretty dress." Kanaya commented. Jade nodded. "Yeah. It's just your color!" Jade exclaimed. Little did Kanaya know that Jade was planning to make her a similar dress soon. Kanaya tilted her head slightly. "Seriously? You think so?" Jade nodded. "Yea-" She was interrupted by the whistling of the kettle in the kitchen. Kanaya chuckled quietly. "Heh, sorry about that. I better go prepare the tea." Kanaya stood up and proceeded to go the kitchen. Kanaya turned off the stove and poured the hot water into the teacups. Kanaya placed a bag of tea into each of the cups and placed them on saucers. She then picked up the saucers and carried the cups to the living room. She set them down on the coffee table and sat next to Jade. Jade put the magazine on the table and picked up her saucer. She used one hand to hold the saucer and the other to pick up the teacup. Jade took a small sip of the tea and smiled. "This is delicious, Kanaya!" She declared. Kanaya returned her smile. "Thank you, Jade."

Jade had a sudden realization as to why she originally came. "Kanaya! I just remembered why I came! I was wondering if you would go to the Friendship Gala with me this Saturday. You're supposed to make a new friend and bring them to the gala and I wanted to ask you!" 

Kanaya pondered this for a second. "A 'friendship gala'? That sounds like an entertaining event." Kanaya shrugged and smiled. "I don't see why not. Yes, Jade, I will accompany you to this Friendship Gala."

"Yay! Dress is semi-formal, so keep that in mind!" Jade said. She suddenly hugged Kanaya, which Kanaya retured, and whispered in her ear. "You have no idea how much this means to me, Kanaya." With that, Jade stood up, grabbed her bag from the chair next to the couch, and left. 

Kanaya could hear Jade's car in front if the garage start, and then she heard the low growl slowly fade away as Jade drove off. Kanaya sat for a bit, pondering what just happened. What did Jade mean when she said that Kanaya didn't know how much this meant to her? Why was he so enthusiastic? Kanaya shrugged it off, the blush from Jade hugging her barely apparent on her cheeks, and went upstairs to start contemplating which dress to wear to the Friendship Gala.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comment please! comments motivate me to write and not procrastinate! i mainly added jadenaya to this for my friend magnetowasright bc i saw how much he liked it in his fanfic. youre welcome percy! i rly hope you guys like it.


	9. John

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> talking. plus john being a loner.
> 
> ~~trigger warning for mentions of a panic attack, and swearing!! dont read if youre triggered by those!!~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys so i figured you guys needed a new chapter, especially since percy loved the last chapter so much. all ive been thinkin abt lately is 1. the most recent episode of gravity falls, and 2. the friendship i have with this guy. not anythin romantic, but like just some problems weve had. 
> 
> nngghh jadenaya is adorable. so yeah.
> 
> also, those are the actual lyrics to the song.
> 
> this too longer to write than i thought because for most of this chapter i was watching the corpse bride, so oops. it took waaay longer than expected. i was supposed to post this yesterday (the day before halloween) but it was really late (like 2 am) and i was tired, so i went to bed and finished this today (hALLOWEEN).
> 
> SHITTHE SPACING IS FUCKED UP AGAIN OF THE LAST PESTERSHUM CONVERSATION.

John watched as Dave and Kanaya left. He should've shown his face. But that probably wouldn't have ended well. John had a panic attack just imagining it. His heart was still racing. John tried to catch his breath. He breathed in and out. '1 In, 2 Out, 3 In, 4 Out, 5 In- Goddammit' Without realizing it, John had pulled the strings on his hoodie so tight, he couldn't breathe. John pulled out the hood so he could breath again and then he stood up from his crouched position behind a bush.

John began to walk back to his house, which was only half a mile away. Even though he knew that Dave and Karkat weren't meeting until 3, John got to the school at 11 that morning. John thrust his hands into his hoodie pocket and grabbed his phone and headphones from the pocket. John plugged in his headphones, unlocked his phone, and pressed the 'Shuffle' button on his music. 'Friendly Goodbye' by Bowling For Soup came on and John began to sing along to it. 

I can lay it on real thick  
But I know how you don't like to get bogged down  
With anything 'bout us  
And out kick ass true love tale  
Cause I know you hate it  
And by the way that cake you baked my really sucked  
But I ate it.

Cause I loved you  
Even more than you could ever imagine  
Here's a friendly goodbye  
5, 6, 7!

John bounced to the beat, stepping in time to the drums. He closed his eyes and then opened them at the chorus.

Ain't that a 'b' with an itch  
Ain't that a mother trucker  
You can go to h-e-double hockey sticks  
And f yourself  
Cause I'm flipping gosh darn sick  
Of all the 's' words you put me through  
So F-U!  
F-u

John closed his eyes again and kept singing along to the song until he bumped-- well more like crashed-- into someone. John's headphones fell onto his neck and his glasses flew off his face. John got onto his hands and knees and felt around for his glasses. Without them, John was as blind as a bat in sunlight. John heard the other person say, "Oh my God, I am so sorry." and drop onto their knees to get John's glasses. They found them and handed them to John. John smiled in their general direction and then put his glasses on. Upon quick inspection, he found that one lens was cracked pretty badly from the fall and the other was totally missing.

"Shit," John said under his breath. He looked up at the person through his cracked lens. The girl had black hair that pointed on the sides and a little curl on her forehead. Hey, she looked familiar, at least from the little that John could see. 

The girl spoke first. "John? Is that you?" John immediately recognized the voice. He stood up.

"Yeah, it is. Hey, Kanaya."John said. Kanaya smiled. At least, he thought she did. He smiled back.

"Are you going to be okay? You're glasses are pretty messed up." Kanaya said worriedly. John nodded.

"Yeah. I'll get new ones later. Why are you out and about?" Earlier, Kanaya had been hiding with John behind the bush.

Kanaya gulped. "W-well, I've just had quite a bit going on today, so I figured I would take a walk and clear my head." She said. John nodded.

"Hey, did you hear about the Friendship Gala thing this weekend?" John asked.

Kanaya nodded. "Yes, actually. I was asked to it."

"Oh yeah? By who, if you don't mind me asking?"

Kanaya blushed slightly. "Uhm, this girl named Jade. She's quite lovely."

John gasped quietly. "Jade? Dude, she's my stepsister! That's so cool!" 

Kanaya smiled a bit. "Really? That is, how you say it, cool."

John smiled widely. "Maybe we'll get to see each other more often!" 

Kanaya smiled wider. "Yes, maybe. Were you asked by anyone?"

John frowned slightly. "Not yet. I dunno if I'll even go."

"Why don't you ask Dave? You two just met, correct?"

"Well, yeah, but we're kinda in a tough spot right-"

"MEEEEEOOWWW!" John was interrupted by a loud meow from a somewhat large cat. He turned around quickly to see a tall cat with a... blue head? CAN cats have blue heads? John squinted his eyes and through his one lens, he observed that this was not in fact a giant cat with a blue head, but a girl around his age with a blue cat hat on her head. He thought.

John pointed to the girl's hat. "Is that a cat hat, or am I just insanely blind right now?" The girl somehow did the ':3' face with her mouth.

"Yea! Isn't it purrfect?" The girl said doing a cat paw pose with her hands. John smiled slightly.

"Yeah, it is. My name's John. What's yours, cat girl?" 

The girl begins to speak and John thinks that she is talking to herself until he notices she is looking right at him. "AC licks her paws and stares at John before saying 'Nepeta'."

John tilted his head. "Nepeta? That's your name?" 

'Nepeta' nodded. "Yes, it is!" 

"Do you have a Pesterchum, Nepeta?" John asked, reaching for his phone. 

Nepeta nodded again. "Yup!" Once John unlocked his phone and opened Pesterchum, he asked what her handle was. "arsenicCatnip. It's a sort of green color." John found it, showed it to her for confirmation, and then sent her a chum request.

John heard Nepeta's phone chime with a cute, soft 'meow'. She whipped it out and unlocked it, accepting the chum request and sending John a message. 

\-- aresenicCatnip [AC] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 16:15 --

AC: :33 ac curls up into a ball in eb's lap and purrs 'hello'  
EB: oh i see. youte liek a rolepayer or sonethinh righy?  
AC: :33 ac purrs in a way that sounds like a giggle and says you are typing funny  
EB: wel; i can"r exactlu ser righy now, cam i?  
AC: :33 ac supposes you are right

\-- arsenicCatnip [AC] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 16:20--

John locked his phone and put it back in his pocket. He nodded to Kanaya and Nepeta. "Well, I must go. I promised my dad I'd be back be 4:30. We have this father-son pottery class thing and we have to leave by 4:45." He turned around and started in the general direction of his house. John stumbled off the sidewalk and fell to his knees.

"Fuck! I mean, shit! Oh shit... Damn." John shouted. He could hear Nepeta and Kanaya snickering behind him. He turned around and tried to glare at them, but it didn't work. John stood up and brushed off the imaginary dirt on his pants. He could hear footsteps behind him and turned slightly to see Nepeta standing there. 

"Need some help, John?" She asked. John nodded.

"Yeah, I can't see very well, if at all. I can't really tell." John said, linking his arm with the one Nepeta was holding out for him. Nepeta began to walk forward, John matching his steps with hers. John turned his head and waved to Kanaya, He thought he saw her wave back, which she probably did. John turned back around to face the way Nepeta as facing. 

"So, John, where do you live?" She asked.

"420 West Gai Drive." John replied. Nepeta nodded and continued to walk that way.

 

Once they reached his house, John fumbled around his hoodie pocket for his keys. He found them and with his terrible vision, he tried to put the key into the lock, but it wouldn't work. Nepeta giggled and took the keys from him. 

"Which key is it?" She asked, studying the keys.

"The one that has a green ghost-ish looking thing. It's a cartoon version of the ghost from Ghostbusters." Nepeta found the key, put it in the lock, unlocked the door, and then helped John inside. "Thanks, Nep."

Nepete smiled. "You're welcome, John!" 

"John? Are you home?" John heard his dad call downstairs from his study. 

"Yeah, but I have some bad news!" John shouted back. He headed to the living room and motioned for Nepeta to follow him. John sat on the couch and Nepeta sat next to him. Dad Egbert came down the stairs. 

"Yes, son? What's the matt- What in blaze's name happened to your glasses?" Dad Egbert asked.

John sighed. "I bumped into Kanaya pretty hard and my glasses fell off my face. They broke on the ground." john explained.

Dad Egbert groaned. "Now we have to go get you new ones.. Guess we'll have to miss our pottery class. I'll go get ready to leave." With that, Dad Egbert went back upstairs. John looked at Nepeta.

"Hey, uhm, Nepeta? Would you say we're friends?" John asked.

Nepeta giggled. "Of course,silly!" 

John nodded. "Cool. So, I was wondering... Would you like to go to the Friendship Gala thing with me next Saturday?"

Nepeta nodded. "Sure! I've actually been waiting to see if someone would ask me! So yes, I will go with you, John!" 

John smiled. "Cool!"

Nepeta smiled. "Yeah!"

Just then, Dad Egbert came downstairs. "Thank you for bringing my son home, Miss..."

"Nepeta. Call me Nepeta." 

"Thank you again, Miss Nepeta. Would you like to come with us?"

"You're welcome! And yeah, I would!"

They all went to the glasses store, got John a new pair of glasses and then Dad Egbert treated them to a late lunch. They went back to John's house and John invited Nepeta to watch a movie with them. She agreed and they watched Face Off, an amazing Nicolas Cage movie about a cop that switches faces with a criminal in a coma that killed his son and is trying to bomb a city. Nepeta fell asleep half way through the movie and John had to use her phone message who she was living with that she was spending the night. Over the course of the day, John learned that Nepeta lived with her 'meowrail', which was a play on 'moirail'. Moirail was a term from an anime Nepeta was obsessed with. The term meant 'platonic soulmate'. Nepeta was moirails with a person named Equius. Equius was 18, so he could live alone. Well, alone with Nepeta. 

John scrolled through Nepeta's recent messages until he found centaursTesticle, Equius's chum handle. John clicked it and began typing from Nepeta's point of view as not to raise suspicion in Equius. 

\-- arsenicCatnip [AC] began pestering centaursTesticle [CT] at 20:49 --

AC: :33 ac jumps into ct's lap and purrs as she speaks

AC: :33 i am spending the might with my new friend

AC: :33 i met him today

CT: D--> Alright

CT: D-->So I can e%pect you back tomorrow

AC: :33 ac nods before falling asleep

\-- arsenicCatnip [AC] ceased pestering centaursTesticle [CT] at 20:58 --

John felt relieved. He thought Equius was onto him. John smiled., locked Nepeta's phone, and then carried her upstairs to his bed. It wasn't romantic between them; they only just met and they agreed that they were only going to be just friends. John didn't want her sleeping on the couch. John set her on his bed, covered her with the blanket, and then wen back downstairs to sleep on the couch. John had trouble falling asleep, so he took a few sleeping pills and then fell into a dreamless sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pls comment!

**Author's Note:**

> yeah, i am not proud of how this chapter came out, or the entire thing, but im going to post the whole thing as soon as i can. it would mean a lot if you 1) pointed out any mistakes in the characters (other than OOC bc i know when its OOC ) and 2) tell me what you think in the comments!!


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